Sarah Fights Movie Fights

I am in no way affiliated with or an owner or creator of Movie Fights or Screen Junkies. I’m just a huge fan, and this is meant only as a fun way for me (Sarah) to flex my argument muscles. No copyright infringement or offense or hard feelings are intended.

If you don’t know what Movie Fights is, it’s a youttube show created by Screen Junkies where nerds get to fight about stuff that really matters, namely comic books, movies, and pop culture. Since I, obviously, will never be invited to be on the show, I thought it would be fun to watch their latest movie fight and put my two cents in about what I would argue. Below is a link to the video:

Just to be fair, I’m not going to take down the other fighter’s answers, since they can’t respond to me here. I’m just going to present the argument for my choice.

Again, I am not affiliated with Screen Junkies or Movie Fights in anyway.

First Fight: Which Actor Has Had the Best Performance in a Bad Movie?

My answer: Hugh Jackman in X-Men: The Last Stand

First of all, you can’t argue that X-Men: The Last Stand isn’t a bad movie. Just saying the title aloud makes all X-Men fans, and all movie fans, groan. It was so bad that they had to make an entire movie just to undo all the damage that X-Men: The Last Stand did to the franchise.

That being said, Hugh Jackman is still really good in it. He gives Wolverine his usual bravado and charm, but he also really makes the emotional scenes impactful. The movie as a whole doesn’t work, but Hugh Jackman really stands above the rest and rises above the bad material with another solid performance. He could sleepwalk through the movie by that point, but he didn’t. All of the other actors seems bored or lost or just phoning it in, but his performance is on a different level. He brought his A game. He is the best part of an otherwise atrocious movie.

Second Fight: Which Stallone Movie Would Work Better With Arnold?

My Answer: Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over

Stallone is so his own person it’s hard to recast him. To make it work for this fight, it has to work BETTER than casting Stallone. I would argue that most of his roles are iconic because of what he brings to them. Even if he’s not an amazing actor, he does what he does very well. Therefore, I looked for a movie where he was absolutely NOT doing what he does best (i.e. being tough and punching people). Comedy is not in his wheelhouse. Children’s movies are not in his wheelhouse. He doesn’t understand them, just like he doesn’t understand comedy. Arnold has more experience doing both comedy and children’s movies (Kindergarten Cop, Twins, Junior, Jingle All the Way), therefore I chose SpyKids 3-D: Game Over to replace Stallone.

Think about it. Arnold would have brought the same level of action stardom to the role. Kids know Arnold probably even better than Stallone, so it would have been just as fun if not more fun for them to see him do this part. Plus, watching Arnold play a villain in a children’s movie would be hilarious. The movie would not miss a beat, and Arnold would bring another layer of goofiness and weird charm to the role than Stallone did.

Fight 3: What Superhero Would You Want To Be For An Entire Year?

My Pick: Superman

This is SO OBVIOUS I can’t even believe no one picked him. OF COURSE I want to BE Superman. He’s basically immortal. He can fly, he’s indestructible, he’s as close to being a god as you can ever get. He isn’t emotionally damaged like Batman. He isn’t a raging alcoholic. He doesn’t have the issues that other heroes have. He’s a good person, he’s a good guy. As long as you go into every situation with Lex just ASSUMING he has kryptonite and make a contingency plan, I’ll be golden. I can literally do and accomplish anything I want.

Fight 4: If You Could Punch One Actor In The Face, Who Would It Be?

My Answer: Tom Hanks

I don’t want to punch anyone in the face ever, so I’m picking someone who’s so nice I can punch him and then immediately apologize, and he’ll not only forgive me I could probably ask him for a hug and he’ll say “okay”. It’s well documented that he’s the nicest guy in show business. He’s amazingly sweet and giving, and he’d forgive me for hurting someone. Anyone else would hold a grudge, and how could I live with myself for that?

Fight 5: Which Movie Character Deserves Its Own Lego Set and Lego Movie?

My Answer: Princess Bride.

Another no-brainer. Princess Bride has amazing sets: The Pit of Despair, the castle, the boat, the Cliffs of Insanity… lots of possibilities for fun and building and recreating your own adventures. There are lots of swords and other weapons and props you could use. You also have pirate, knights, “the man in black”, Andre the Giant, the six-fingered man, the list goes on and on. Every character is iconic and would be instantly recognizable as a Lego piece. The movie also has a lot of humor all ready, so translating it to a movie would be perfectly in line with the canon film without changing much.

Fight 6: Pitch a Blockbuster as a Low-Budget Indie

My Answer: The Dark Knight Rises

Everyone loved The Dark Knight. Everyone loved Batman Begins. What went wrong with The Dark Knight Rises? The answer is that the passion for the characters was gone. The passion for a cohesive story was gone. If Chris Nolan had been forced to focus more on the things that made the first two movies so good, we could have avoided the bloated mess that was The Dark Knight Rises. We know that Christopher Nolan is an incredibly creative director. He’s made movies with low budgets before, and he’s made them look amazing. If instead of just trying to duplicate his box office success he had been forced to get creative again and make things work with very little money, this movie would have been more interesting and more fun for everyone.

These are my answers! I didn’t let myself use the answers any of the fighters used, since that’s the rules. What are your answers? Let me know!

Get Your Submissions In Now!

The March/April submission period is almost over, so NOW is the time to get your stories in!

You might have some questions, so below learn more about what we’re looking for:

What Can I Submit to UpWriteLadies?

Anything! We will take your fiction or non-fiction pieces, including blog posts! Write about your views on religion, pop culture, art, entertainment, life, politics, or whatever. Or dust off that old story you’ve been working on for months and send it to us! We want to give YOU a forum to share YOUR voice, in whatever form that takes.

Just be sure to check out our submission guidelines first, then send your file to!

Why Should I Submit Something?

There are so many reasons!

First of all, winning submissions are posted right here on the first and third Fridays of the month, so your story and your voice can get out there to a broader audience. This will expand your readership and help you influence a whole new circle of amazing women (and men).

Second of all, the entire point of UpWriteLadies is to give YOU a voice. We want all women everywhere to share their passions, whatever those may be.

Thirdly, it’s fun! Every month, you get to see what we’re reading, what we’re loving, and what your fellow women writers are producing. Join the fun! Join the revolution!


– Sarah


Everything I Know About Being A Woman, I Learned From Roz Doyle By Sarah

Few female characters in the history of television have kicked as much butt or taken as many names as Roz Doyle, the amazing radio producer on the sitcom Frasier, played for eleven seasons by Peri Gilpin. I grew up watching episodes of Frasier in syndication, but it wasn’t until the entire run was put up on Netflix that I realized how truly awesome Roz Doyle really is, and how much she taught me about what it means to be a woman in the modern world.

Don’t Apologize for Being Good at Your Job

The first thing Roz taught me is that being good at your job isn’t something to be ashamed of. From the first episode, Roz is an amazing producer, and she makes no bones about it. She never cows to male counterparts or refuses to speak up for fear of offending someone.

Importantly, she doesn’t belittle anyone else or pick fights just for the sake of arguing, either. She is just an extremely competent radio producer with ideas and opinions, and she makes sure her male colleagues take her seriously. She will challenge them when they are wrong, listens to them when they are right, and through sheer tenacity and talent manages to be considered a true equal in every respect. From this example, I learned to be confident in my workplace. I learned not to undersell my talents and abilities, but to be proud of my accomplishments.

Men Don’t Define Me

Unlike many sitcom characters, Roz Doyle doesn’t end up married or in a serious relationship at the end of Frasier. She dated a lot and came close a few times, but in the end she ended up single.

And you know what?

That’s just fine.

Roz was happy being single. She had an amazing daughter she was raising on her own, she had a close network of family and friends who loved and respected her, and she had the career and life she had built for herself over years of struggle and hardships. She was not defined by the man in her life. She defined success on her terms. Of course, she battled the same insecurities as all women do, but the important lesson I learned from her example is that I don’t need a traditional life to be happy. I don’t need to wait for a Prince Charming to rescue me.

I can rescue myself.

Just like Roz.

Men and Women Can Be “Just Friends”

Frasier and Roz are friends.

Just friends.

Sure, they’re both tempted to see if their relationship could be more romantic, and even sleep together at one point, but they immediately recognize it was a horrible mistake. They both know they wouldn’t work as a romantic couple, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be close. They refuse to let that fact ruin the beautiful relationship they do have, however. They don’t have to be lovers to love each other. They will always love each other, no matter what.

And that friendship is more important to either of them than any marriage or dating relationship would ever be.

From this relationship, I learned that it’s okay to have platonic friends. I don’t have to feel awkward about being “just friends”. I don’t have to worry about “the friend zone”. The friend zone can be a pretty awesome place to be.

Unfortunately, there have not been many female sitcom characters who are as strong, dedicated, loyal, and independent as Roz Doyle. Here’s hoping the next generation gets someone as amazing to look up to.

April Submissions Now Open!

We’re springing into March like a lion, fellow UpWrite Ladies! Which means that our next submission period is now open!

We will accept all  short story and non-fiction submissions for April publication up until 11:59 pm PST on Saturday, March 26th. Yes, that’s right, procrastinators and perfectionists – you get almost an entire month to tweak and hone and write and rewrite.

Once we pick our winners, we’ll contact them to ask for a profile.

Sarah will publish her pick for winning story (along with review and profile of the author) on the FIRST FRIDAY in April. Even though that means April 1st aka April Fools’ Day, we’re not fooling you! Amber will post her winning pick (along with review and profile) on the THIRD FRIDAY in March. We will open the contest again for the next month, so if your story is not selected this time around, don’t despair! You can always resubmit. After all, as Ernest Hemingway said, “The only kind of writing is rewriting.”

Please review our guidelines for more information and how to submit.

And don’t forget to share and forward this page to all women writers you know! Let’s keep the spring in our steps and the words flowing on the page.

THE FIRST FEBRUARY SUBMISSION WINNER: The Problem With Preachers by Rachel

Below is our first published piece from a submission by a reader! This week is Sarah’s Pick. It is a non-fiction, opinion piece by Rachel. Please note that the opinions and views expressed are those of the author and do not reflect the opinions or views of UpWriteLadies.

The reason I picked this piece is because it is a well-written, well-reasoned, passionate argument. From it’s opening paragraph to the closing, it’s a griping read whether you agree with the view or not. It’s a strong view, for sure, but strong opinions make for good discussion, and I’m sure this piece will lead to lots of discussion!


By Rachel

I’ve got a confession to get off my chest. Few people know this about me, and I am afraid I will fall out of favor in many Christian circles if they knew the truth. I don’t like Joel Osteen. Or pretty much any Christian preacher who is rich and famous for being a Christian preacher. I know, I know, I’m just a close-minded simpleton who must be jealous of their success, and if I could just get on their bandwagon surely I would feel better about myself (the power of I am!?) and I would be able to harness all of the blessings God is obviously waiting to bestow upon my life.

But the problem is, I already have blessings from God. Even though I’m poor, and living in debt, and recognize that I am actually not that awesome of a person. Even though I think frequently about how bad of a sinner I am and recognize that I am a selfish, arrogant person. God still has blessed me with the greatest gift of all – His Son who died to forgive my sins. He has not said to wait until I feel good about myself, or really to think about myself much at all. The most important thing is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37) which has nothing to do with loving yourself. Granted, the “love your neighbor as yourself” (verse 39) is vaguely about loving yourself, but more in a “you already know you love yourself so love others just as much” kind of way.

I know I struggle with a dichotomy of judgment – am I just judging these people, which I am not supposed to do? Or am I being wary of a potential false prophet? How is it that Jesus, the prophets, the apostles, they all were allowed to call people out on sin but we are now in a day and age that even mentioning sin means we are judging people and are personally subjected to God’s judgment for this? I recently heard a sermon at my church discussing the idea of judgment and how we should NOT be judging non-Christians to a Christian standard, but we should be looking at ourselves within the church and keeping each other accountable. So go ahead and call me judgmental, but I think we should hold pastors of mega churches to a Biblical standard.

I must admit, I feel a little bit like a heretic when I tell someone I’m not a huge fan of a famous, popular Christian. I see the look of confusion, or is it disgust, contort their face subconsciously. Is it because I am too much of a cynic to believe someone rich and famous could really be living right? Surely Jesus did not say that “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the Kingdom of God” (oh wait, that is His exact words – Matthew 19:24).

Joel Osteen is not someone I have given much thought to, because I just write-off anyone who preaches a “feel good” message as an inspirational speaker, not a pastor. But then I realized he is actually supposed to be a pastor and when he’s on TV it’s probably a broadcast of him preaching his Sunday sermon at his church. Except he is not preaching. At least, not how I understand the job of a pastor. He will not call people sinners, he will not talk about the importance of recognizing our depravity and the need to turn to our Savior for forgiveness and change. To be a pastor there is no requirement to do the visual illustration showing how repentance means turning 180 degrees away from sin and watching a pastor walk in one direction then literally turn completely around and walk in a different direction. No, you can be a pastor without the illustration. But has Joel Osteen ever done a single illustration relating to our sins and need for a Savior? Does he explain to people that in order to get these supposed blessings from God you probably have to be “on the team” so to speak, and explain how to become a Christian?

The best I can tell, Joel Osteen’s sermons are nothing more than uplifting language, making us feel like we can accomplish ANYTHING if we just believe. Which is nice sentiment. But believe in what? In ourselves? In an all-powerful genie god that will give us whatever we desire? It is hard to dislike someone when their words are sweet honey telling you that despite past failures something good is on your horizon. But alas, I do dislike him. I can’t stand listening to him talk. I can’t stand looking at his books that do little more than make people feel good about themselves and line his pockets with cash. Lots of cash.

God calls us to something greater than ourselves. One verse that inspirational preachers like Joel Osteen and other “feel-good-ers” like to turn to is Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” Yes, God did say that, but when is the last time you’ve heard someone uplifting with that verse explain the context? Do they mention that God was actually talking to an ENTIRE NATION and not a single person, much less talking to YOU? Do they mention that this promise was given before a SEVENTY YEAR stint in exile? Most, if not all, of the people alive when the words were written were not alive when the exile ended. Jeremiah 29:11 is about looking forward to God’s redemption not about your personal selfish journey through life. It is about the bigger picture of furthering God’s kingdom, not advancing your career. When will we stop living so firmly in this present life, being coddled by “pastors” like Joel Osteen telling us that we are great, we are amazing, we just need to change our views of ourselves and we can reach a better life.

None of this bothered me so much until I looked a little more into Joel Osteen. I discovered his newest best-selling book is called “The power of I AM: Two words that will change your life today.” Joel Osteen, I did not dislike you so much until you had the nerve, the gall, to take the name of God Moses was given in the desert “I AM” and turned it into a book title which in no way represents this God. This book is about changing how you think not recognizing the great I AM that I AM. You have lost any lingering respect I could have, and I hope that you can realize your own depravity and sin in time to change your message to one of repentance followed by truly seeking after the life God wants. It is good to want to become better, to want to live your best life. But that should not a pastor’s complete message week after week, book after book. Joel Osteen is like the sweet talking door-to-door salesman who makes you feel good about yourself, convinces you how smart you are, then somehow that convinces you to purchase his product and make him rich. I’ve never liked sweet talking door-to-door salesmen.

So there, I have let out my secret. I hope I haven’t offended anyone and made them think less of me. Oh wait, except if being concerned that people are preaching a false message instead of the true message of God’s love and salvation means you dislike me, then go ahead. I’d rather you hate my message than try to milk things down to the point none of us know the truth.



Rachel was born and raised in the small town of Bennington, VT. She then moved with her husband and three children a stone’s throw south to the even smaller town of Pownal. Rachel studies nutrition policy at Tufts University and it especially interested in maternal and children’ nutrition. She enjoys cooking, and has a strange desire to cook every time the kitchen is finally clean.